Electric Tangerine

Well I really like some of your single lines especially : nostalgia won't save us from tomorrow: there are too many fragments to collect I would look for a different ...

Their lies and deception cast a gloomy reflection. Hate and rejection gave you an altered perception, nothing is true… no, not to you. OK I really liked this stanza. It ...

Hmm...it's a bit repetitive like Siegfried said. The idea of having "young" and then "older" two lines down sort of confused me. I'd look into changing that. Basically I agree ...

Your first stanza is amazing! I like how it's not "I'm tangled in the net of life" which I'm afraid would be terribly overused and abused if the emo kids ...

Well this sounds right up my alley! :D I love your first stanza! I'm not really sure why, but the words "Ear canal" really bothered me. It was too real, ...

I love the first 5 lines, but then you have as i walk i can hear lots of sounds in there...This feels very out of character with the rest of ...

Ok here goes. First...I'm not sure I completely understand this cause its the end to a story I haven't read but that aside...I highly suggest you get a spell checker. ...

I can't decide about this one. It's a very interesting style. You may have done this purposefully and I'm sure to hear you read it would clear up some of ...

I really like your imagery, a lot. You have a way of seeing things in a unique light that I find very...well...poetic. I especially like how toward the end, your ...

I agree with Twit. It doesn't really read as a poem but more like a story. I love your creativity though, and I think the humor is perfect, as in ...